The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly…

Posted on by Krystal

Ok, so if you’re reading this post looking for Clint Eastwood, than I’m terribly sorry he isn’t here.  You may leave now.

 

Still here?  Good.  Hi there.  I’m back.  Again.  Consistency is definitely not my middle name.  But life has been a bit of a roller coaster here and I’m still recuperating in a lot of ways.

If you’re tired of my excuses and really don’t care where I’ve been, this is now YOUR turn to duck out along with the Clint Eastwood fans.

So where to start?

Let’s start with all the bad, which ironically is just how this story goes chronologically as well.

Back in January, I swore that 2018 was going to be my year.  2017 had been pretty terrible and I was absolutely desperate for some silver lining action.  The universe cackled.

We received a notice that the home we lived in (which had been in foreclosure for some time) was finally, super officially bank owned and they wanted us out.  Which, yes, we knew it was coming, however no matter how hard we tried, we just could not find a house that would work for us within our budget.  Hands down, the most stressful situation, especially considering we have kids and animals and a whole life.  10/10 do not recommend.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the following night my grandmother called to tell me that my grandfather wasn’t doing well.  She was going to spend the night with him because they were convinced that this was it.  It was his time.  So, I trekked to the nursing home and sat with my grandmother and aunt as we waited.

Now to add insight, my grandparents are two of the most important people in my life.  They’ve played a huge role in my existence and I’ve literally spent my entire life dreading the day when I didn’t have them any longer.  I knew that they were my grandparents and therefore would pass out of my life sooner than I wanted, but I couldn’t imagine a world without them.

So in other words I was living my nightmare.

My grandfather waited until the next morning when everyone left.  He waited until he was alone to pass.  He took a chunk of my heart with him.

I had assumed that when he passed, it would be easier.  He had Lewy-Body Dementia, and hadn’t been himself for a long time.  Which is weird, because you find yourself mourning the loss of someone who’s sitting right in front of you.  I honestly couldn’t imagine anything worse.  It had been a long, hard, emotional haul.  Some would say that at least he wasn’t suffering anymore, but selfishly I just want to go back to the way things were before he got sick.

After the funeral, my brain started to separate him into two separate people: him before his illness and him after.  My brain understood that the sick him had died, but in strange, confused moments, I imagined him well and sitting at home, eating his favorite snack while watching tv.  I still struggle with this.  There are experiences that I’ll never have with him again, and good God if that isn’t hard to wrap my head around.

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My grandparents and I on the day I got married.

 

Anyway, enough of that because once I get started, I don’t stop.

Fast forward a couple of months.  We still haven’t found a house.  We still can’t stay where we are.  And it’s time to get out.  Now here’s where I’d like to say we were totally prepared to leave and had everything packed and a truck rented.  We didn’t.  And though we are both guilty of putting it off, I couldn’t see past my own sadness to do what I needed to do.  And we paid for it.  We spent three days trying desperately to pack and move stuff out, and in the shuffle, so much was left behind.  It came to a point where I had to constantly remind myself that it was just stuff and stuff can be replaced.  I cannot tell you the last time I felt like such a failure.  It was hard.  So hard.

But!  We at least had some place to stay until we got our own home and we ended up moving in with my dad while we continued the hunt.  This meant driving my kids 40 minutes to school each morning and 40 minutes to get them in the afternoon, but seeing as it was April, I couldn’t see pulling them out of school for the last three months.  Not to mention this was a big year for Slugger since it was his last in elementary school.  There’s  a big party and gifts and a graduation.  I didn’t want to take that from him.  So, drive them I did.

Thankfully we eventually found somewhere to live.  It’s an adorable house.  A cape built in the 20’s, but in good shape and the perfect size for us.  The bummer?  We have to move out of state.  It’s incredibly bittersweet.

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Our little home

When I first moved in with my husband, I absolutely hated it.  We were in the middle of nowhere.  It took forever to get anywhere.  Bugs.  Dirt.  Summer traffic.  EVERYONE KNEW EACH OTHER BUT ME.  But after 12 years,  it grew on me.

My kids went to an amazing school.  Their class sizes were tiny, so they got all the help they ever needed.  We made friends.  My kids played sports.  I acclimated.

So now we leave for the suburbs, which is all I ever wanted, but a part of my heart will remain in that little town in the middle of nowhere.

Trust me though, it will not be hard to get used to having EVERYTHING within walking distance. (Almost.  Sort of.  There’s an ice-cream shop and a diner with in walking distance.  Do you need more?)  I’m excited.  I am.  I just wish it had played out differently.

SO the point is, we are still fixing up the house the way we want it and have yet to move most of our stuff in, but once we do, I’ll be back on the grind, filling you in with our new adventures.

If you’re still here, I appreciate you reading as I pour my heart out.  There were tears shed here and it’s not always a pretty, happy, sunshine life.  I said I would be transparent.  Here it is.

I look forward to maybe, one day, being consistent.  In the meantime, thanks for hanging in there.

 

What I Do Involves a Dirty Word, But It’s Anything But…

Posted on by Krystal

How’s that for grabbing your attention?

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted, and I know, I’ve been heavy on the oils, light on the life.  Right now there are some heavy, hard things going on in my life that aren’t really mine to talk about.  So for now, I have to leave them be.

What I really wanted to talk about is that dirty word I mentioned.  I guess it’s actually TWO dirty words: network marketing.

Now I may have already lost some of you right there.  No one has good feelings about the term “network marketing” but really, isn’t any job network marketing?  We are bombarded constantly with advertisements for one product or another.  Marketing. To a network of people.  That’s pretty much the name of the game.  But for some reason, when you apply that title to someone like me, a person trying to make some extra money and provide a service without sitting in an office building working for a corporation, it becomes a yucky thing.

And I know this is because a few bad apples (ok, MORE than a few) have ruined it for the bunch.  We’ve all been to the “parties” that feel more like a shakedown.  We’ve all paid more than we should have for something that just didn’t work as well as we were promised.  And there are the dreaded moments when a friend we haven’t spoken to in a while contacts us and rather than having a genuine conversation, it turns into a sales pitch, or endless flattery to prove just how AMAZING you would be as a memeber of their team.  The only thing worse?  Is getting that same message or phone call from a COMPLETE STRANGER that hustled your number out of one of your friends.  Cold calls ARE NOT awesome.

So what am I getting at?

Well, I felt so much trepidation joining a “network marketing” company. I don’t like to be pushy. I don’t like harassing people into a sale. I will not approach someone with the mentality of “how can I make them buy…”.  I was terrified that I would be encouraged to do these things and all with a smile and a lecture about how our product is better than everyone else’s

Two years later, I can confidently say, this has been so much more rewarding than I could ever imagine. I am with a group of like-minded women. Some of them are long time friends. Some of them have BECOME friends. I am in a community where people are constantly cheering each other on (without pressure! Imagine!) and helping each other when things aren’t going smoothly.

I’ve never been one to “know what I want to do in life”.  I had the crazy, unrealistic dreams, but never a real purpose or direction. Then I had kids and they became my purpose. Which is great and how it should be, but I never felt FULFILLED. I wanted something for me. Something I could do and work at to better myself and my family.  I feel I’ve finally found it.

Now, I know you’re wondering “How much money are you making!? You must be killing it if you’re writing this post!”

Deep breath.  Stay with me here.  You’re going to roll your eyes, but know that I mean every word I’m about to type with all my heart.

I started this business thinking I would never sell.  I didn’t know many people and I’m not a salesperson.  I loved my oils and loved what they did for my family.  That was enough for me.  Whatever happened business wise happened and that was that.

Do I measure my success by the size of  my paycheck?  Nope.  If I did, I would have quit this months and months ago.  I never thought I would even GET a paycheck.  

I have focused my energy on making connections with the people on my team.  I’ve focused on getting essential oils into the hands of those who need them, whether that means friends, family, or acquaintances.  I measure my success off of my family’s wellness and my own happiness.  That is all.  If there is any money coming in, well that’s just a bonus.  

Now, are you always going to like and get along with everyone?   No.  There are people in this business that I don’t see eye to eye with.  And you know what?  That’s ok.  They still have things to teach me, even if that “thing” is teaching me how I DON’T want to run my business.  

So at the end of the day, I guess what it all boils down to, is that even I had preconceived notions about what this journey would be like.  And honestly, I was wrong.  Am I sitting at the top of the food chain in my mansion?  Not yet.  But I have made my family better, my confidence a little better, and I’ve also made genuine friends.  So if that isn’t winning, what is? 

 

 

 

First Day Survival

Posted on by Krystal

Sure. That sounds a little dramatic, but whatever. Today was the first day of school!!!  And it still isn’t over. I’m actually typing this from cheerleading practice on a phone with 5% battery. Nothing like cramming it all in.

Speaking of cramming it all in, this is a HUGE post.  It is.  So, before you bail (please don’t) I just wanted to let you in on some exciting stuff.  I’m hosting an online Intro to Essential Oils class, right on Facebook.  It’s Monday, Sept. 12th at 9pmEST, but the info will stay up a couple of days.  There will be all sorts of good tips and information and probably a giveaway and probably some fun.  And.  So many ands.  Anyway, head to my Facebook page to find the event and JOIN US.  Any way, back to the post at hand.

Orginally I planned to just talk about what my kids were using this year to help them in school, but after I slathered things all over MYSELF this morning, I thought it could be awesome to cover both sides of the coin.

Dont get me wrong. I was really excited for both of the kids to ship out this morning, but it was a little bittersweet. I’ve had a buddy with my for the last (almost) five years. Seeing as I suffer from anxiety, it’s always helped to have a friend to talk to. I know that sounds super dependent. And it is. Shhhh.

So anyway. I was doing fine until Facebook decided to break my heart by showing me a picture of Slugger’s first day of Kindergarten. (Totally just typed Kinderfarten by accident and my phone says that’s a word. Mental note to look that one up later.) My mother’s guilt always kicks into high gear when I see pictures of little Slugger. We’ve had such a hard road and I always wish had done things differently. Maybe had more patience. Or been more gentle. I don’t know. A lot of things. Moral of the story it was seriously killing my “I’m going to Target with my bestie alone” vibe.  It doesn’t help that I’m PMSing. Dangerous.  So I oiled up. And ended up dressed as a unicorn. Magic!image

Ok and my phone died.  I’m going to break here to tell you a secret.  Every time my phone dies, I imagine I’ve been transported back in time and I’m trying to show people my phone.  I just keep telling them that if only I had a charger, I could show them that touchscreens are real!  Not sure what that says about me.  Anyway…

Since my phone died and I’ve had approximately 2300480298 things to do, it’s no longer the first day of school.  But we can pretend it is.

TIME TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!

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Every kid is different, and this isn’t really a guide to school success, more like me telling you what is currently working for us and how we plan to use those same oils/supplements for school.  Things will change I’m sure.  Just as they did last year.  But for now, here’s the lowdown.

Slugger:

We are starting Slugger’s morning off everyday with two different supplements right now: Super B and MultiGreens.

Super B is filled with all of the B vitamins ever (don’t quote me on that) and other AMAZING things like manganese and biotin.  These are great for supporting healthy cognitive function, maintaining energy levels, supporting circulatory function, and boosting your moods!  Umm yes, please.  They also turn your pee super bright yellow, which would only be a positive thing if you are a ten year old boy.  He thinks it’s great.

MultiGreens are filled with more awesome stuff like bee pollen, spiraling, and Pacific kelp.  They even smell amazing.  Which doesn’t really matter, but whatever.  They work in conjunction with the glandular, circulatory, and nervous system.  Glandular…preteen…yessssss.  I’ve posted on ALL the social media about how glad I am that my son no longer smells like a football team.  A BLESSING, YO.

I’ve touched many times on Slugger and his various issues and hangups.  Last year, we had one oil blend that was a total game changer for us:  Clarity.

WHEW.

This blend IS AMAZING at helping provide mental clarity and stimulating the senses.  It also puts some pep in your step.  I believe I covered in a past post how we made the switch from Brain Power to Clarity last year.  Brain Power was great as well, however being that Slugger falls on the ADHD spectrum, stimulation is key to help support healthy brain function.  Using Clarity in conjunction with the the help he has in school allows him to stay focused through the WHOLE DAY.

The next oil blend is one that BOTH kids are taking with them this year.  It’s our tried and true “Bathroom Buddy”.

Bathroom buddy is a Combo of DiGize and Peppermint, both of which offer amazing support to your digestive system.  Anytime either one feels a little “off”, they roll this combo on their belly and go back to being their obnoxious wonderful selves in no time.  Usually after a trip to the bathroom.

DiGize is packed full of amazing oils in itself.  You know, in case I haven’t bragged on it enough or solidified the fact that it is my FAVORITE blend.

DiGize:

Tarragon, Ginger, Peppermint, Juniper, Fennel, Lemongrass, Anise, and Patchouli.

Now, you’re probably all “There’s already peppermint in there, Dummy!”  And you’re right!  There is!  However peppermint is always good to boost certain oils and help them absorb a little faster.  So we add that bad boy in there.  Diluted, of course.

Now, my tiny Pixie.

Pixie is probably one of the most precocious little people you can meet.  She has no problem telling you her life story, no matter how busy you may appear.  Unless of course, you’re a kid.  Then she has no use for and really doesn’t have any idea how to talk to you.  So we needed to make her BRAVE.

We tested out a blend for cheerleading that worked pretty well, but then after going through the Happy Oiler Handbook (did I mention it’s amazing?) I found a recipe called “You Make Me Brave”.  It only had one extra step that ours didn’t, so I thought why not try it for school?  You Make Me Brave consists of Orange essential oil, and two different blends, Peace & Calming and Valor.  Now.  Those blends?  SUPER SOUGHT AFTER.  And super out of stock.  So if you’re following along at home and need to be…well, brave, let me know and we can come up with substitutes for you that might work just as well at turning you into a movie star.  I happened to have snagged both blends before they went out of stock, so I sacrificed them to my child like a good parent.

So any who, that’s Pixie’s secret weapon.  And I can absolutely see a difference in her already, so I’m even more excited to see what the school year holds in store for her!

Now to my unintentional PMSing, Stressed, First Day of School Mom Kit.

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This is basically everything.  I left out DiGize, because I use that EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Because I love it.  Not that I don’t use these other things everyday.  Some of them I do, but I forgot to put the bottle in the picture and this is me pretending that was intentional, ok?

So what do we have here?  You can see the Super B and MultiGreens we talked about earlier.  Love them.  But there are also some other supplements to make your kid free experience run smoothly as well.

Every day I take the Master Formula.  It’s really cool because it’s actually a little packet of supplements already divided up for each day.  So you grab you bag and go.  EASY.  I’m not even going to pretend to be smart on this one though.  I’m literally going to show you EXACTLY what Young Living has to say about these bad boys.

As per the website:

• Naturally supports general health and well-being for the body
• Gut flora supporting prebiotics
• Ingredients help neutralize free radicals in the body
• Includes antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, and other food-based nutriment
• Pre-packaged sachets are convenient to take your vitamins on the go
• SSI Technology delivers ingredients in 3 forms chosen for their complementary properties

Click HERE to go to the information page for Master Formula.  It’s some seriously awesome stuff.  GUT FLORA SUPPORT?  Yes.  Clearly I need that.

Now Essentialzymes-4 is super new to me and I just started taking them this past week.  They just keep showing up on my Itovi scans, and I really don’t have to wonder too much about WHY.  These little guys help support healthy digestion of our super duper processed foods and aid in the absorption of nutrients.  Uh yeah, sign me up.

Now, goodness, if I haven’t lost you yet then YOU my friend are either really interested or a trooper.  I like you.  I’m going to wrap this up with my various oils because if you are a woman and have a vagina/uterus/reproductive system/hormones, you need to know about the next two oils.

Progessence Plus and Endoflex.

Now technically, Progessence Plus is a serum MADE with Essential oils, but whatevs, right?  It contains WILD YAM, which sounds weird, but has naturally occurring progesterone.  What?!  It also works double duty, because this stuff is great for your skin.  Let me say, I saw such a difference when using this blend, it actually scared me.  Like, I stopped using it because I was all “NO WAY!”  And then I regretted that I stopped using it because “things” went back to their terrible ways and then I swore I would never be without this again.  Hormone support?  CHECK.

Endoflex supports healthy endocrine function.  So that thyroid?  Let’s keep it healthy and happy.  That makes everything ELSE healthy and happy.  AM I RIGHT LADIES??

The dream team up there.  Trust me.  My kid’s thank me for using them, my hubs thanks me for using them, MY UTERUS thanks me for using them.

I would like to say I’m surprised I ended a blog post by talking about my uterus, but that would be downright lie.  I’m not surprised.

But this, this my friends, is our back to school game plan.  So far I can say we each feel pretty darn great and I will update (obvs) with how this goes for us!  Thank you for sitting through this ridiculously long post!  Go eat some ice-cream!!  You’ve earned it!

If you want a closer look or NEEEEEEED to have any of the oils/supplements mentioned click HERE.

Then tell me how much you love it.  Because you will.

 

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Posted on by Krystal

Vacation.  HA!  That is hilarious.

So I’ve been missing again.  I received an awesome reminder via my email that it has been FOUR MONTHS since my last blog post.  Which just sounds wrong.  I refuse to believe it’s been that long.  But I digress.

We have less than two weeks until school starts here and I’m having conflicted emotions because this is the first time BOTH of my kids will be in school full time.  I want to be sad about it, but I’m ecstatic.  Maybe that makes me a bad person.  But whatever.

So what, you might ask, has been taking up all my time this summer?  Well the vast majority of it has been trying to keep my children alive.  You would be surprised how hard that is.  It requires feeding them, breaking up ridiculous fights, and trying not to murder them.  If you murder them, then honestly why did you bother doing all of those other things?  It would just be silly.   So I find that I’ve been saying “Just go away!”  a lot.  Because I can’t murder you if we aren’t in the same room.  I’m not Carrie.

So the keeping alive of the children was especially difficult this summer because the hubs and I decided we each needed our own vacation.  In the hospital.  A month apart.

I have to say, that my husband was at least courteous enough to wait until baseball season had ended.  The night of Slugger’s last game, he started to complain about a pain in his knee.  He hadn’t done anything to it, but he’s notorious for having horrible joints and being that he spends the entire day on his feet, we didn’t think a whole lot of it at first.  But then he went into work the next morning and couldn’t even stand.  He had to come home and tried to convince me that his giant, red hot knee wasn’t that serious.  I wasn’t convinced and long story short, he ended up hospitalized with an infection under his knee cap.  There were lots of antibiotics involved and a surgery to drain it.  After a little less than a week, he came home.  It was weird and scary.  I didn’t like it.  Not a highlight of my summer.

While this was going down, Pixie decided she wanted to participate in the Little Miss “Insert name of our town here” pageant this year.  So, while her father was in surgery, we were standing around in a super hot field, waiting to see what tiny person would be crowned.  My daughter had NO CLUE what any of this entailed, but was super excited because she knew she got to wear a dress and stand on a stage.  Which is more or less all she did, along with flashing the judges her underpants randomly whenever she felt nervous.  She didn’t win, but now we know for sure she’s my kid.13423875_10209530964381234_9101752849184228286_nEven though she didn’t win, she received prizes for being a runner-up.  Prizes = Winning.  So she promptly left there telling everyone she met that she was the winner and the new Little Miss.  Eh.  Whatever.  You do you, Boo.

So this brings us to July.  My hubs was recovered and back to work.  He stubbornly went back before being cleared by the surgeon and then rubbed it in my exasperated face when the surgeon agreed with him at his next follow up.  Men.

July started out as a pretty magical time.  Our school does a summer enrichment program for all grades INCLUDING the kids going into Kindergarten.  So both of my snowflakes were signed up faster than you can say “BYE KIDS!”.  It was about three hours a day/four days a week.  Which is perfect for both of us to get used to the idea.  I would love to say that I was productive during this time, but seriously it was only three hours.  You can’t do anything in three hours, so I didn’t even try.  I caught up on some reading.  Because then I was learning things too and everyone was better educated after those three hours.  At least that’s what I tell myself.  13599930_10209667783921637_4293443858245239248_nNotice Slugger’s completely mismatched socks.  This kid.  He’s going to be the death of me.

Speaking of Slugger, he turned ten at the end of July.  I’m still in denial.  I’ve covered the many things I’m not qualified for and having a ten year old is just another thing to add to that ever-growing list.  I mean, I was ten not that long ago.  I don’t know what I’m doing here.  I have no idea.  Soon we’re going to be having THE TALK and seriously, I’m not qualified to lead THE TALK.  And my husband won’t have THE TALK, because he, well, doesn’t talk.  WHAT THE HELL!?  I can’t do this.  I need to huff some Stress Away.  I’ll be back.

Ok.  Let’s not talk about that again.

Here’s the part where we get to my tale of misery and woe.  Let me preface this by saying: the only time I’ve been hospitalized was when I was birthing my children and though I didn’t enjoy it, at least I went home with a prize.  Like, “Sorry that was painful!  Here, have a baby!”  I can deal with that.  This wasn’t like that.

Things are about to get gross.  You’ve been warned.

I woke up one morning with weird stomach pain.  Now, this isn’t THAT unusual for me because I’ve had weird stomach pain for a good portion of my life.  The fact that I HAVEN’T had any pains in a while was more unusual.  But any way…

So I think that these are the pains I used to get and I bust out my Digize.  Then I ate some yogurt, because in my head I was all “Yogurt has probiotics”.  I ended up regretting that, because only a few moments later, I ended up seeing that yogurt again.  Gross.  So I call the hubs and really at this point, my main concern is that the kids want lunch and I can’t stand long enough to make lunch, so for the love of all things holy can he please come home and make them lunch?  He comes home, makes them lunch, and proceeds to tell me that I probably shouldn’t feel like I’m in labor and that maybe we need to go to the ER.

So I get my act together enough to roll out of bed and put shoes on.  I did not care that I was wearing little sail boats on my pajama pants.  Didn’t care.  But I did put a bra on, because wearing pajamas while needing a shower and not brushing your hair is a lot to deal with on top of free swinging boobs.  Yeah.  I said it.

If all this wasn’t enough, I hobble myself to the door just to open it up to a BEAR on my deck, hanging out.  In the middle of the afternoon.  This is my life.  Thankfully the bears around here don’t know they’re vicious and can be scared senseless just by whispering aggressively at them.  Which is precisely what I did.  I angrily whispered “What are you doing!?  Get out of there!” and the bear looked at me like I was the scariest whispering person ever and took off.

I learned a super important lesson this day.  If you want to get through the ER quickly, just start vomiting.  No sooner did I start, a nurse rushed in with an IV full of anti-nausea meds.  Which was helpful.  Especially since it was slightly humiliating that every time I threw up, the elderly lady next to me would yell “GOD BLESS YOU!”  She was hard of hearing and I’m pretty sure ended up being my neighbor once I got moved to a permanent room.  Unless I was just blessed with two different deaf old ladies during my stay.  I mean, anything is possible.

I really didn’t think any of this could get worse.  I mean, I was already puking into a bucket and groaning with my eyes half closed for all of the Emergency Room to see while receiving numerous blessings.  That’s an all time low for me.  But then, I went in for a CT scan.  Which was fine.  I mean, whatever.  But after the CT scan, I started to feel very hot.  And queasy.  And the poor, distinguished looking gentleman in a lab coat had to rip me out of the machine so that I could once again resume vomiting.  However, at this point, my stomach was empty.  So instead of vomiting, just made awful noises while retching into a bucket and proceeded to PEE ALL OVER THE TABLE I WAS SITTING ON.  Yes.  I peed.  On the CT scan table.  So then I was groaning, and apologizing, and kind of hoping I would magically lose conciousness.  I didn’t.  But at least the lady next to us couldn’t hear the story when I had to repeat it to my husband upon returning to my assigned cubicle.

So skipping lots of other barbaric stuff, I ended up admitted with what they THINK was an infection in my large intestine.  We are really good at weird mystery infections around here.  So I basically had to lay in a bed with an IV and starve for a few days.  Which was ok, because I was in so much pain that eating wasn’t even a thing I wanted to think about.  THAT’S A BIG DEAL.  I LOVE EATING.  AND THINKING ABOUT EATING.  But anyway…

Things were running smoothly until the antibiotics really started to kick in.  Because the side effects of the antibiotics?  Stomach pain and diarrhea.  The irony was not lost on me.  And I was kind of ok with this anyway because I hate vomiting and would much rather sit on the pot than kneel in front of it.  Everything would have been roses.  Except, that morning, they moved my IV to my right hand.  I’m right handed.  You would think that wiping your butt with the wrong hand would be as easy as just visualizing what the dominant hand does and then, you know, doing that.  BUT NO.  My left hand is for aesthetics only.  It can’t follow directions.  I sat there longer than I’d like to admit just willing it to do my bidding.  It.  Was.  Terrible.  At one point, I missed my target completely and ended up sticking my hand in the toilet water.  I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.   Don’t try it.

I’m feeling much better now.  I still can’t eat quite like I used to and still have random pains, but I’m off all meds and am alive and can wipe my butt.  So it’s all gravy.

WHILE ALL THAT WAS HAPPENING, Pixie started cheerleading.  Which has been a fascinating experience.  I missed her first couple of practices because I was busy sticking my hand in toilets, but for the last two weeks I’ve been taking her and goodness, my kid is going to be a star.

She’s not interested in what the other girls are doing.  Oh no, not my child.  She’s putting her own twist on EVERYTHING.  A lot of it involves jumping.  She jumps.  A lot.  Which is cool because if I jumped, I’d pee, just like I did on the CT scan.  Have kids, they said.  It’s fun.

Anyway, cheerleading has been 2-3 nights a week.  Pixie still really doesn’t understand why they have to show up and do the same things over and over, even though I’ve explained that’s what PRACTICE means.  So it’s been challenging.  Tomorrow is their pep rally, and I’m sure it’s going to be a big, adorable mess.  I’m excited.

AND THIS HAS BEEN MY SUMMER.  If this was being graded, I’m sure the teacher wouldn’t have bothered and probably just would have called my parents to make sure I’m not on drugs or something.  But I’m not anymore.  I finished them, remember?

And though I’d like to say this has been a great summer, it really hasn’t.  I’m glad it’s almost over.  Bring on the school year.  BRING IT ON.

Because I Have To.

Posted on by Krystal

So.  As the title implies, I’m writing this post because I have to.  Why do I have to?  Because I haven’t.  Duh.

I haven’t written anything in some time, and not because my life is void of activity or events, but because I’m terrible at follow through.  There.  I said it.

Also, I have to say (since I like to be honest here) my confidence has been seriously lacking as of late.  There is something to be said about putting yourself out there and hoping people like who you are.

“But you shouldn’t care if people like who you are!  Just be you!  You are special!”  That’s what we’ve been told growing up, isn’t it?

But goodness, it’s so much harder than that.

I don’t know who I am most days, or how to be sure of myself.  I (as I’ve mentioned before) struggle so much with the concept of making adult friends.  And I know I’m not alone.  There are many people who feel this way.  And especially after having kids, all of a sudden you turn into this MOM-BOT that only says things like “Sit down!”  or “Nice hands!”  and you go by names like “Mrs.  So-and-so”  or “So-and-So’s Mom”  and you’re all “Wait!  I used to by my own person!”.

Add to that mix the fact that my humor is, um, a little off brand to the mom world, and things just get even MORE awkward.  I can’t express to you the amount of times I’ve made a joke, just to have people’s eyes glaze over and their jaws slack a little.

I guess the point of this post (besides me once again complaining about how I don’t know how to life) is that I’m in the process of barreling through this weird, awkward second puberty I’ve found myself in.  Thirty is the new twelve.

So if you find yourself feeling similarly, at least know you aren’t alone.

That’s all.

Itovi, Utovi, We all, umm, tovi 

Posted on by Krystal

So I had posted on Facebook some time ago that my Itovi had arrived.  

What the heck is an “Itovi”?

Well I’m going to tell you what it is and what it ISN’T. 

 itovi

There it is, in all it’s tiny glory.  
The Itovi is a personal scanner. Sounds pretty sci-fi, right?  And in so many ways, it kind of is. 

The Itovi uses a technology called “Bioimpedance” to tell us about our own bodies and health. Bioimpedance is the same technology used in most of the fitness trackers people are using these days. Basically, tiny frequencies of electricity are used to bounce around and report back on what is happening in your body. That’s probably the least scientific way to explain this, but Google. Just. Google. 

So after a scan that roughly takes about two and half minutes, you get a read out that looks something like this:

 

So, the read out you see is actually from Pixie’s most recent scan.  Now if you’re like my dad, you’re probably looking at this wondering what any of this means.  As you can see, of the 273 bio points scanned, 72 of them can use improvement. Now this information is based off of so many variables: sleep, stress, diet, exercise, water intake, and so on. 

What this scanner doesn’t do, is diagnose.  I am not a doctor and I’m not going to tell you that you have small pox, or the measles, or whatever else.   

But this scan shows me that based off of this readout, Pixie would have the most beneficial results using Petitgrain. It gives the Young Living description of each suggested oil or supplement and nothing more. So now what? 

Now, I would take this information and research Petitgrain on my own. Knowing what it assists with and what benefits it has leads me to a plan of action as far as how I would use this oil on Pixie. And that’s the gist. 

Do you need extra knowledge of oils to use the scanner?  Not necessarily, but it certainly helps fill in some of the gaps here.  I’ve been more or less running the scan and then providing each person with a full break down or “oil map” letting them know the nitty gritty details. 

Overall, it’s an amazing tool that offers the most customized results possible. Regrets?  None. 

I will say, the results we’ve seen have made tremendous sense when considering our various health concerns. I even eliminated one of the supplements I’ve been taking for a few days (totally intentional, not because I’m lazy. Ha!) and low and behold, there it was in my next scan. Voo doo!  Or, even better, science!  So cool. 

If you’re interested in getting scanned and are local to me here in beautiful New Jersey, let me know!  Or if you’d like to look into getting an Itovi for yourself, or just want more information because I’m a terrible science teacher, visit www.itovi.com

I think it goes without saying, I’ve received no compensation or product for this post (seriously, no one would pay for this). I just wanted to share how excited I was over this new gadget! 

Hair We Go Again…

Posted on by Krystal

 
Welcome back to another edition of I need a better camera Hair We Go!  Today we were a little pressed for time, so I thought we would try a tutorial I’ve seen floating around for a while.  Some people call it “faking a long ponytail” or “the double pony tail trick”.  What ever makes you happy.  

Being that Pixie has such curly hair, her hair often looks a lot shorter than it really is.  You wet that head and her hair goes down between her shoulder blades, but once it dries, it’s more like a bob.  Regardless, I’d kill for her curls.  Typically, her ponty tails are tiny, curly and adorable.  I’ve actually had people ask if I curl her hair.  I should have really taken a picture of a typical Pixie pony so I could show you, but I’m a terrible blogger and who has forethought these days?  

So any way, let me show you how it turned out. 

   
 I need to start by pointing out the obvious, that weird part on the side of her head makes me crazy!  If I had more time, I would definitely play around with it and see if I couldn’t get rid of that obvious part that screams “Secret ponytail isn’t so secret!”  I had tried this hairstyle on myself and ran into the same problem.  I definitely think it has a lot to do with my lack of hair skills.  

All in all, this hair style is stupid easy and incredible satisfying.  Pixie’s ponytail has easily doubled in length and looks great (aside from that PART!).  I would absolutely do this with my own hair as well.  I would show you, but taking pictures of the back of my own head was super difficult and no one wants to see the lame attempt I made.  

So success!  

Here’s a simple tutorial from makeup.com so you can try on your own!

http://www.makeup.com/two-ponytail-trick
Let me know what you think! 

Ahhhh, Valentine’s Day…

Posted on by Krystal

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and I can’t help but realize, like every other area of my life, Valentine’s Day has changed drastically since having children.  

Allow me to demonstrate:

BK (before kids):  

You get super excited when you glimpse at your calendar (filled with lots of fun, grown up-like events) and notice that Valentine’s Day is coming up!  Oh for soothe! (Or something.). You can’t wait to spend the day with your love and relish in how much you enjoy each other’s company.  It’s going to be so much fun!

AK (after kids):

Oh hell.  Valentine’s Day is like, three days away!  You didn’t notice between the school meetings and play dates.  But there it is.  Did you pick up Valentines yet for the class?  How many kids are in the class?  Are they doing that this year?  Is there a class party you have to show up to?  Your kid doesn’t know either.  Awesome.  Did you discuss any plans with your other half?  Are you getting each other anything this year?  Why are there holidays?  Aren’t regular days enough?

BK:

DAYS before, you start the grooming process for the big day.  You’re waxing and shaving various areas.  You need to make sure you have that certain perfume that drives him crazy.  What are you going to wear?  Whatever.  You’ll get an entirely new outfit.  It’s a special occasion after all!  You make an appointment for the salon that morning so your mani, pedi, and hair look amazing.  You smile to yourself while trying out different make up looks in the mirror and wonder if life could be any sweeter.  

AF:

Valentine’s Day.  Like, the actual day of.  Is everyone bathed?  Have they at least bathed recently?  Did you brush your hair and teeth this morning?  Better make sure you do that.  You don’t have to shave. Gweneth Paltrow said so.  

BK:

You’ve picked out the most amazing gift for your other half!  It’s wrapped like in belongs in a window display and you are dying, DYING to give it to them.  They’re going to be so excited.  And you know how great they are at giving gifts too.  What is it this year?  Diamonds?  A new car with a bow on it?  Your own ISLAND!?  Who knows?  You don’t!  AH!  You love love!

AK:

You hand your significant other the generic box of chocolates you remembered to pick up at the last minute.  They might have thanked you, but you can’t hear them over the sounds of children asking to try some of YOUR chocolate, even though they definitely got their own.  You turn your back for a minute, and that giant gaudy heart you received is filled only with wrappers.  Magical.  

BK:

You’re in the car, listening to Boys II Men, and gazing longingly at each other.  Your love surprised you by getting reservation months in advance to some swanky, dark little restaurant that charges illegal organs for a main course.  But it’s ok,  what else do you have to spend money on?  You hold hands across the table, while sharing a dessert and staring into the dark pools of each other’s eyes.  This is so great.  

AK:

You head to whatever chain restaraunt that  isn’t completely swamped with people.  You still have to wait an eternity to get seated.  If you have to tell the kids to stop hitting each other one more time…oh thank God, the table is ready.  You go through the the regular dinner time motions (begging people to eat, negotiating, threatening, listening to conversations entirely based around video games and tv shows you don’t even understand) all while feeling SUPER conscious of the fact that everyone in your immediate vicinity is childless.  And annoyed with you.  In fact, your pretty sure that one couple left before their drinks even came to the table.  Whatever.  Jerks.  

BK:

You finish dinner and race home to the…main event.  

I don’t feel like that needs further explanation.  

AK:

You finally manage to get everyone into the car and wonder if these little heathans will ever sleep tonight after the copious amounts of candy they ate.  Once you get home and make sure everyone is dreaming sweetly, you pass out promptly on the couch.  If you’re lucky, you aren’t snoring.  (You aren’t lucky.)

And I know what some of you are thinking: “Why not get someone to watch the kids?”

And you can do that, but let’s face it, you’re just going to spend the whole time talking about how much you miss them.  

Things I Never Thought I’d Say Out Loud (especially in public)

Posted on by Krystal
never thought i would say

I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth, though it certainly seems like I have.  We have been running around like crazy people the last couple of weeks and in the fray, my laptop charger decided it no longer wanted to do it’s job.  Facebook ever so kindly informed me that it has been eleven days since I’ve posted anything on the Oils Monster page.  So here I am.  Assuring you I’m alive.

On that note, Pixie just recently turned four this past weekend.  I don’t know how this happened, or when time decided to speed up, but in honor of her birthday I’ve compiled a slightly nonsensical list of things I never thought I’d have to say.  This list is a tiny representation of the absolutely insane things that I have found NECESSARY to say.  I should point that out.  I don’t say these things just because they’re funny.  Like, there has actual been an occasion to say each of these.  Ponder that.

So, without further ado, prepare yourself to question my entire life.  Here we go.

Stop eating the dog/cat food.  (I say this A LOT)

No, eggs don’t change color in the fishtanks like Easter eggs.  See?  They’re all still white.

We don’t eat toilet paper…

You can’t show your pee-pee to everyone…

We don’t color on our teeth.

No, if you shoot me, I won’t come back to life.

Why is the dog in the dresser drawer?  (I’ve had to ask this more than once.  Not awesome.)

No, we can’t name the baby “Sausages” or “Spongebob”.  (Good thing Slugger didn’t get final say on Pixie’s name…)

Please don’t keep chapstick in your underwear.

Well, now that you put that candy in your underwear, I guess we have to buy it.  But you still can’t eat it. (Yeah, I’ve said this.  Checking out at Staples.  It was just as awkward as you imagine it.)

Your underwear is not a substitute for pockets! (Gee, wonder why I had to say that.)

We don’t hit people with dinosaurs.

You can’t ride in the washer machine.

Please put that down.  It’s a urinal cake. (Uh huh.  Yup.)

No, I’m pretty sure bears don’t eat cars.  (Just pretty sure.  Not certain.)

Please don’t wash the cat.

No, no one turned Jesus into a statue.  It’s just a statue.  Of Jesus. (Pixie was incredibly concerned about this one…)

Pantyhose aren’t pants.  I can see your underwear.  And it’s on wrong.

And everyone, gag with me:

Please stop eating the cat’s hair!

Now of course this list isn’t all inclusive.  I’m sure there are plenty of ridiculous things I’ve blocked from my memory to preserve my own sanity.  Any fun ones you’d like to add??  Leave them in the comments.  You know, so I can feel like this is normal.

How to Survive Being a Sideline Mom

Posted on by Krystal
sports mom

School has officially started here!  WHICH IS WONDERFUL!  And also means something else has started.  I’ll give you a hint.  Ready?

planner

Do you see it?  Do you?

For those who don’t know about my crazy obsession, this is my planner.  Like, really.  I use this to plan my entire life.  (And for the record, Steve isn’t some heart broken man that I plan on counseling through a break up.  It’s Slugger’s teddy bear, who was missing an arm.) And there, there at the bottom!  Fall baseball season has begun!

Slugger has been playing ball since Kindergarten, and though I wonder about how much HE has learned, I’ve learned a tremendous amount over the last few years.  And because I’m a giving person, I plan to share that knowledge with you.  Now, if you’re looking to the learn the definition of “short stop” or “pinch hitter”, this isn’t the place.  Seriously, you guys, google.  I’m here to teach you something far more valuable.

How to survive being a side line mom.

Now, though in my case this applies to baseball, the tips I’m about to teach you can be applied to just about any activity you are forced happily spectating.  So pay attention.

baseball kid

This first nugget of wisdom applies to almost anything kid related:

  1.  No matter how much they enjoy the activity once they’re there, your children will fight you tooth and nail about actually going to said activity.

It never fails.  My son loves his team and coaches.  He generally enjoys himself while out on the field.  But when it comes time to leave the house, he acts like I’m dragging him to a symposium on the effects of global warming.  Every.  Damn.  Time.  So, that being said, plan to leave at least a half an hour earlier than you need to.  You know, in case you have to shove them in the car, kicking and screaming.

2.  Always bring water.

Do not, I repeat, do not count on your child to remember to bring their own water bottle.  It’s a recipe for disaster.  You will remind them 345,239 times, and mid game/practice they will be dehydrating faster than you can say “I told you so”.  Or at least, it will seem that way from all the throat clutching and rasping noises they will be making in your direction.  They will spend more time whining by your side than on the field playing the sport you paid good money for them to play.  BRING WATER.

3.  Find your people.

Stop scratching your head and let me explain.  There are going to be other moms there, you know, because it’s a team made of children.  Unless you’re  a magical chameleon unicorn, not all of these moms will get you.  It’s up to you to hunt down and find the ones that do.  And then firmly plant yourself next to them.  To avoid confusion and awkward social situations, I’ve complied a list of most of the “mom types” you will find among the bleachers.

The Posh Moms:

You will know these moms from miles away.  They are always polished and well dressed.  Hair is coiffed, nails are polished, and they are dressed like they just stepped out of a high end catalogue.  Their makeup is always on point and you’ll notice they never seem to sweat.  I’ve yet to figure this out.

The Sporty Moms:

These moms clearly played some sport in college, though the debate is open as to what.  They are usually dressed like they just went for a jog, with lots of spandex, ponytails, and baseball caps.  Don’t look for them on the bleachers, because more than likely, they’ve positioned themselves behind the team bench and are leading the little buggers in some kind of group cheer.  You can also easily recognize them by their intense need to high five everyone and shoot a thumbs up to their kid on the field every thirty seconds.  Team work.

The All Together Moms:

These moms were born to birth people.  Like, really though, they seem to have the mom thing down to a science.  They are always prepared, always on time, and usually have anything any child could possibly need on hand.  When it comes time for them to provide the team snack, you can bet it’s something painstakingly homemade.  Like cupcakes with a  picture of each child made from icing and fondant.  The Martha Stewarts of Moms.

Which brings me to my final group.

The Barely Holding it Together Moms:

Personally, this is my group.  These are the moms who are in the thick of it.  They look war weary and disheveled.  You can tell by the strain in their voice and the twitch in their eye that they are one tiny person away from a mental breakdown.  They cope with sarcasm and humor.  They scream from the sidelines at their kid, who is currently throwing dirt in the air like confetti, rather than paying attention to the action on the field.  My people.

Now that we’ve covered that…

4.  Clear your entire afternoon/evening schedule for the duration of the season.

Don’t even imagine that you will have any form of a life until the season has concluded.  Just don’t.  Plan on pop up practices, last minute games, and God knows what else.  There will be parties and impromptu ice-cream.  You are a slave to the game now.  Live with it.

5.  Forget eating dinner.  Ever again.

This one kind of runs hand in hand with number 4.  Because your brats are school aged, most activities take place during prime dinner time.  Which means rushing through homework, throwing a snack at your child, and running out the door (thirty minutes early, don’t forget this.) You will spend a good percentage of your time on the bleachers wracking your brain on how to actually feed your family a meal that night.  Don’t stress it.  This is why McDonald’s was invented.  Don’t judge me.

Now this last bit is just some added advice for those fools moms out there who have more than one child, like yours truly.

To keep your additional little ones entertained, consider packing the following:

Every electronic device you own.

Every snack currently in your pantry.

Water (We covered this)

A toy loved enough to entertain, yet not so loved that losing it wouldn’t cause a complete meltdown. (Like such a thing exists.  Ha!)

Vodka (For you.  Clearly.)

Duct tape (Just in case…ummm.  Never mind.)

If all of the above doesn’t work, send your additional children to All Together Mom.  Chances are she has something they want.

Above all, have fun.  Enjoy this time.  It will go quickly.  Plus, at the very least, you know your kid will one day have a bitchin collection of “participation trophies” to show off.  It’s all good.