The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly…

Ok, so if you’re reading this post looking for Clint Eastwood, than I’m terribly sorry he isn’t here.  You may leave now.

 

Still here?  Good.  Hi there.  I’m back.  Again.  Consistency is definitely not my middle name.  But life has been a bit of a roller coaster here and I’m still recuperating in a lot of ways.

If you’re tired of my excuses and really don’t care where I’ve been, this is now YOUR turn to duck out along with the Clint Eastwood fans.

So where to start?

Let’s start with all the bad, which ironically is just how this story goes chronologically as well.

Back in January, I swore that 2018 was going to be my year.  2017 had been pretty terrible and I was absolutely desperate for some silver lining action.  The universe cackled.

We received a notice that the home we lived in (which had been in foreclosure for some time) was finally, super officially bank owned and they wanted us out.  Which, yes, we knew it was coming, however no matter how hard we tried, we just could not find a house that would work for us within our budget.  Hands down, the most stressful situation, especially considering we have kids and animals and a whole life.  10/10 do not recommend.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the following night my grandmother called to tell me that my grandfather wasn’t doing well.  She was going to spend the night with him because they were convinced that this was it.  It was his time.  So, I trekked to the nursing home and sat with my grandmother and aunt as we waited.

Now to add insight, my grandparents are two of the most important people in my life.  They’ve played a huge role in my existence and I’ve literally spent my entire life dreading the day when I didn’t have them any longer.  I knew that they were my grandparents and therefore would pass out of my life sooner than I wanted, but I couldn’t imagine a world without them.

So in other words I was living my nightmare.

My grandfather waited until the next morning when everyone left.  He waited until he was alone to pass.  He took a chunk of my heart with him.

I had assumed that when he passed, it would be easier.  He had Lewy-Body Dementia, and hadn’t been himself for a long time.  Which is weird, because you find yourself mourning the loss of someone who’s sitting right in front of you.  I honestly couldn’t imagine anything worse.  It had been a long, hard, emotional haul.  Some would say that at least he wasn’t suffering anymore, but selfishly I just want to go back to the way things were before he got sick.

After the funeral, my brain started to separate him into two separate people: him before his illness and him after.  My brain understood that the sick him had died, but in strange, confused moments, I imagined him well and sitting at home, eating his favorite snack while watching tv.  I still struggle with this.  There are experiences that I’ll never have with him again, and good God if that isn’t hard to wrap my head around.

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My grandparents and I on the day I got married.

 

Anyway, enough of that because once I get started, I don’t stop.

Fast forward a couple of months.  We still haven’t found a house.  We still can’t stay where we are.  And it’s time to get out.  Now here’s where I’d like to say we were totally prepared to leave and had everything packed and a truck rented.  We didn’t.  And though we are both guilty of putting it off, I couldn’t see past my own sadness to do what I needed to do.  And we paid for it.  We spent three days trying desperately to pack and move stuff out, and in the shuffle, so much was left behind.  It came to a point where I had to constantly remind myself that it was just stuff and stuff can be replaced.  I cannot tell you the last time I felt like such a failure.  It was hard.  So hard.

But!  We at least had some place to stay until we got our own home and we ended up moving in with my dad while we continued the hunt.  This meant driving my kids 40 minutes to school each morning and 40 minutes to get them in the afternoon, but seeing as it was April, I couldn’t see pulling them out of school for the last three months.  Not to mention this was a big year for Slugger since it was his last in elementary school.  There’s  a big party and gifts and a graduation.  I didn’t want to take that from him.  So, drive them I did.

Thankfully we eventually found somewhere to live.  It’s an adorable house.  A cape built in the 20’s, but in good shape and the perfect size for us.  The bummer?  We have to move out of state.  It’s incredibly bittersweet.

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Our little home

When I first moved in with my husband, I absolutely hated it.  We were in the middle of nowhere.  It took forever to get anywhere.  Bugs.  Dirt.  Summer traffic.  EVERYONE KNEW EACH OTHER BUT ME.  But after 12 years,  it grew on me.

My kids went to an amazing school.  Their class sizes were tiny, so they got all the help they ever needed.  We made friends.  My kids played sports.  I acclimated.

So now we leave for the suburbs, which is all I ever wanted, but a part of my heart will remain in that little town in the middle of nowhere.

Trust me though, it will not be hard to get used to having EVERYTHING within walking distance. (Almost.  Sort of.  There’s an ice-cream shop and a diner with in walking distance.  Do you need more?)  I’m excited.  I am.  I just wish it had played out differently.

SO the point is, we are still fixing up the house the way we want it and have yet to move most of our stuff in, but once we do, I’ll be back on the grind, filling you in with our new adventures.

If you’re still here, I appreciate you reading as I pour my heart out.  There were tears shed here and it’s not always a pretty, happy, sunshine life.  I said I would be transparent.  Here it is.

I look forward to maybe, one day, being consistent.  In the meantime, thanks for hanging in there.

 

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First Day Survival

Sure. That sounds a little dramatic, but whatever. Today was the first day of school!!!  And it still isn’t over. I’m actually typing this from cheerleading practice on a phone with 5% battery. Nothing like cramming it all in.

Speaking of cramming it all in, this is a HUGE post.  It is.  So, before you bail (please don’t) I just wanted to let you in on some exciting stuff.  I’m hosting an online Intro to Essential Oils class, right on Facebook.  It’s Monday, Sept. 12th at 9pmEST, but the info will stay up a couple of days.  There will be all sorts of good tips and information and probably a giveaway and probably some fun.  And.  So many ands.  Anyway, head to my Facebook page to find the event and JOIN US.  Any way, back to the post at hand.

Orginally I planned to just talk about what my kids were using this year to help them in school, but after I slathered things all over MYSELF this morning, I thought it could be awesome to cover both sides of the coin.

Dont get me wrong. I was really excited for both of the kids to ship out this morning, but it was a little bittersweet. I’ve had a buddy with my for the last (almost) five years. Seeing as I suffer from anxiety, it’s always helped to have a friend to talk to. I know that sounds super dependent. And it is. Shhhh.

So anyway. I was doing fine until Facebook decided to break my heart by showing me a picture of Slugger’s first day of Kindergarten. (Totally just typed Kinderfarten by accident and my phone says that’s a word. Mental note to look that one up later.) My mother’s guilt always kicks into high gear when I see pictures of little Slugger. We’ve had such a hard road and I always wish had done things differently. Maybe had more patience. Or been more gentle. I don’t know. A lot of things. Moral of the story it was seriously killing my “I’m going to Target with my bestie alone” vibe.  It doesn’t help that I’m PMSing. Dangerous.  So I oiled up. And ended up dressed as a unicorn. Magic!image

Ok and my phone died.  I’m going to break here to tell you a secret.  Every time my phone dies, I imagine I’ve been transported back in time and I’m trying to show people my phone.  I just keep telling them that if only I had a charger, I could show them that touchscreens are real!  Not sure what that says about me.  Anyway…

Since my phone died and I’ve had approximately 2300480298 things to do, it’s no longer the first day of school.  But we can pretend it is.

TIME TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!

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Every kid is different, and this isn’t really a guide to school success, more like me telling you what is currently working for us and how we plan to use those same oils/supplements for school.  Things will change I’m sure.  Just as they did last year.  But for now, here’s the lowdown.

Slugger:

We are starting Slugger’s morning off everyday with two different supplements right now: Super B and MultiGreens.

Super B is filled with all of the B vitamins ever (don’t quote me on that) and other AMAZING things like manganese and biotin.  These are great for supporting healthy cognitive function, maintaining energy levels, supporting circulatory function, and boosting your moods!  Umm yes, please.  They also turn your pee super bright yellow, which would only be a positive thing if you are a ten year old boy.  He thinks it’s great.

MultiGreens are filled with more awesome stuff like bee pollen, spiraling, and Pacific kelp.  They even smell amazing.  Which doesn’t really matter, but whatever.  They work in conjunction with the glandular, circulatory, and nervous system.  Glandular…preteen…yessssss.  I’ve posted on ALL the social media about how glad I am that my son no longer smells like a football team.  A BLESSING, YO.

I’ve touched many times on Slugger and his various issues and hangups.  Last year, we had one oil blend that was a total game changer for us:  Clarity.

WHEW.

This blend IS AMAZING at helping provide mental clarity and stimulating the senses.  It also puts some pep in your step.  I believe I covered in a past post how we made the switch from Brain Power to Clarity last year.  Brain Power was great as well, however being that Slugger falls on the ADHD spectrum, stimulation is key to help support healthy brain function.  Using Clarity in conjunction with the the help he has in school allows him to stay focused through the WHOLE DAY.

The next oil blend is one that BOTH kids are taking with them this year.  It’s our tried and true “Bathroom Buddy”.

Bathroom buddy is a Combo of DiGize and Peppermint, both of which offer amazing support to your digestive system.  Anytime either one feels a little “off”, they roll this combo on their belly and go back to being their obnoxious wonderful selves in no time.  Usually after a trip to the bathroom.

DiGize is packed full of amazing oils in itself.  You know, in case I haven’t bragged on it enough or solidified the fact that it is my FAVORITE blend.

DiGize:

Tarragon, Ginger, Peppermint, Juniper, Fennel, Lemongrass, Anise, and Patchouli.

Now, you’re probably all “There’s already peppermint in there, Dummy!”  And you’re right!  There is!  However peppermint is always good to boost certain oils and help them absorb a little faster.  So we add that bad boy in there.  Diluted, of course.

Now, my tiny Pixie.

Pixie is probably one of the most precocious little people you can meet.  She has no problem telling you her life story, no matter how busy you may appear.  Unless of course, you’re a kid.  Then she has no use for and really doesn’t have any idea how to talk to you.  So we needed to make her BRAVE.

We tested out a blend for cheerleading that worked pretty well, but then after going through the Happy Oiler Handbook (did I mention it’s amazing?) I found a recipe called “You Make Me Brave”.  It only had one extra step that ours didn’t, so I thought why not try it for school?  You Make Me Brave consists of Orange essential oil, and two different blends, Peace & Calming and Valor.  Now.  Those blends?  SUPER SOUGHT AFTER.  And super out of stock.  So if you’re following along at home and need to be…well, brave, let me know and we can come up with substitutes for you that might work just as well at turning you into a movie star.  I happened to have snagged both blends before they went out of stock, so I sacrificed them to my child like a good parent.

So any who, that’s Pixie’s secret weapon.  And I can absolutely see a difference in her already, so I’m even more excited to see what the school year holds in store for her!

Now to my unintentional PMSing, Stressed, First Day of School Mom Kit.

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This is basically everything.  I left out DiGize, because I use that EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Because I love it.  Not that I don’t use these other things everyday.  Some of them I do, but I forgot to put the bottle in the picture and this is me pretending that was intentional, ok?

So what do we have here?  You can see the Super B and MultiGreens we talked about earlier.  Love them.  But there are also some other supplements to make your kid free experience run smoothly as well.

Every day I take the Master Formula.  It’s really cool because it’s actually a little packet of supplements already divided up for each day.  So you grab you bag and go.  EASY.  I’m not even going to pretend to be smart on this one though.  I’m literally going to show you EXACTLY what Young Living has to say about these bad boys.

As per the website:

• Naturally supports general health and well-being for the body
• Gut flora supporting prebiotics
• Ingredients help neutralize free radicals in the body
• Includes antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, and other food-based nutriment
• Pre-packaged sachets are convenient to take your vitamins on the go
• SSI Technology delivers ingredients in 3 forms chosen for their complementary properties

Click HERE to go to the information page for Master Formula.  It’s some seriously awesome stuff.  GUT FLORA SUPPORT?  Yes.  Clearly I need that.

Now Essentialzymes-4 is super new to me and I just started taking them this past week.  They just keep showing up on my Itovi scans, and I really don’t have to wonder too much about WHY.  These little guys help support healthy digestion of our super duper processed foods and aid in the absorption of nutrients.  Uh yeah, sign me up.

Now, goodness, if I haven’t lost you yet then YOU my friend are either really interested or a trooper.  I like you.  I’m going to wrap this up with my various oils because if you are a woman and have a vagina/uterus/reproductive system/hormones, you need to know about the next two oils.

Progessence Plus and Endoflex.

Now technically, Progessence Plus is a serum MADE with Essential oils, but whatevs, right?  It contains WILD YAM, which sounds weird, but has naturally occurring progesterone.  What?!  It also works double duty, because this stuff is great for your skin.  Let me say, I saw such a difference when using this blend, it actually scared me.  Like, I stopped using it because I was all “NO WAY!”  And then I regretted that I stopped using it because “things” went back to their terrible ways and then I swore I would never be without this again.  Hormone support?  CHECK.

Endoflex supports healthy endocrine function.  So that thyroid?  Let’s keep it healthy and happy.  That makes everything ELSE healthy and happy.  AM I RIGHT LADIES??

The dream team up there.  Trust me.  My kid’s thank me for using them, my hubs thanks me for using them, MY UTERUS thanks me for using them.

I would like to say I’m surprised I ended a blog post by talking about my uterus, but that would be downright lie.  I’m not surprised.

But this, this my friends, is our back to school game plan.  So far I can say we each feel pretty darn great and I will update (obvs) with how this goes for us!  Thank you for sitting through this ridiculously long post!  Go eat some ice-cream!!  You’ve earned it!

If you want a closer look or NEEEEEEED to have any of the oils/supplements mentioned click HERE.

Then tell me how much you love it.  Because you will.

 

Because I Have To.

So.  As the title implies, I’m writing this post because I have to.  Why do I have to?  Because I haven’t.  Duh.

I haven’t written anything in some time, and not because my life is void of activity or events, but because I’m terrible at follow through.  There.  I said it.

Also, I have to say (since I like to be honest here) my confidence has been seriously lacking as of late.  There is something to be said about putting yourself out there and hoping people like who you are.

“But you shouldn’t care if people like who you are!  Just be you!  You are special!”  That’s what we’ve been told growing up, isn’t it?

But goodness, it’s so much harder than that.

I don’t know who I am most days, or how to be sure of myself.  I (as I’ve mentioned before) struggle so much with the concept of making adult friends.  And I know I’m not alone.  There are many people who feel this way.  And especially after having kids, all of a sudden you turn into this MOM-BOT that only says things like “Sit down!”  or “Nice hands!”  and you go by names like “Mrs.  So-and-so”  or “So-and-So’s Mom”  and you’re all “Wait!  I used to by my own person!”.

Add to that mix the fact that my humor is, um, a little off brand to the mom world, and things just get even MORE awkward.  I can’t express to you the amount of times I’ve made a joke, just to have people’s eyes glaze over and their jaws slack a little.

I guess the point of this post (besides me once again complaining about how I don’t know how to life) is that I’m in the process of barreling through this weird, awkward second puberty I’ve found myself in.  Thirty is the new twelve.

So if you find yourself feeling similarly, at least know you aren’t alone.

That’s all.

I Plead My Case…

Ok.  Here I am.  I have defeated the nasty cold that was plaguing my life, and now I need to be semi-productive.  

If you saw my Facebook post, you saw I’ve received my long-awaited Itovi scanner.  It.  Is.  Awesome.  I will be writing a post allllllll about that once I’ve had a little more time to use it and get a better feel for it.  

But today, I want to talk about something I’m dreading.  DREADING.

In a couple of weeks, I am turning 30.  

Folks, I am not qualified to turn 30.  I’m not.  And if anyone tries to use the phrase “dirty 30”, I’m punching them right in the face.  NO.  I don’t need to feel old and dirty.  That is mean, rude, and just uncalled for.  Keep that to yourself. 

Now, there was a dark point in my life where I never imagined even making it to 30.  I didn’t even think I’d make it to 20.  Things were dark and sad, and for a while, I gave up.  Until I found out I was pregnant with Slugger.  I really believe that boy saved my life.  

But anyway.  Here I am now.  And I have to say, I thought things would be so different sitting where I am.  I thought I’d have figured things out and have a good idea of who I am.  I haven’t.  I don’t.  

I have no idea how to make friends.  None.  I thought it was hard as a kid, but seriously, as an adult, I feel like you can’t just walk up to someone and say  “Do you want to be my friend now?”  Frowned upon.  I think.  I don’t know because, again, I don’t know how to make friends in adult world.  

I still feel absolutely stupid when talking to an authority figure.  Teachers aren’t people.  I have friends who grew up to be teachers, and yet, I can’t see them as people.  I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.  Heaven forbid I get asked about why my kid’s homework isn’t done.  I immediately get transported back to the fifth grade and start worrying that someone is going to call my parents.  Except I AM the parent.  And I want to shout at these people “I’m not qualified for this!” 

My house doesn’t look like a picture from Better Homes and Gardens.  It looks more like a progress picture from an episode of Hoarders.  Somewhere in between realizing there is a problem and finishing the clean up.  That’s where we are.  It’s livable, but just barely.  You can sit on my couch, but only after I move several small animals, four barbies, a play vacuum, and some blankets.  The closest I get to fancy is the fact that I have a curio cabinet.  That has things strategically placed in front of it to keep out tiny people.  Classy.  

Then there’s me.  I imagined myself, coming upon 30 and looking the best I ever have.  You know, like Stacy London from What Not to Wear, just younger.  The reality?  I have no idea how to dress this body.  This body that has mutated strangely after having two kids.  The body that I just assumed would slim down in my 20’s (because everyone is hot in their 20’s.  That’s what sitcoms have taught us) but instead just ballooned.  When I put on jeans, it just accentuates my mom pooch.  So I stick to yoga pants, because they seem to hide most things.  I’m still wearing the same sweatshirts from high school, although where they used to be oversized and comfy, now they JUST fit. But as least they fit, right?  

I still have no idea what to do with this stuff on my head people call hair. I’m alway in awe of the perfectly coiffed ladies.  How do they get their hair to do that?  Do they have a hair and make up team at home?  Am I just that incompetent?  Who was supposed to teach me this dark art?  What the hell?  So many questions!  At least I’ve mastered the messy bun.  That’s still a thing, right?

I’m working on a new philosophy that women who always have their nails done also have their life together.  So naturally, if I just keep my nails looking nice, the rest will fall into place.  I’m pretty sure this is fool proof.  I’ll get back to you on this.  

So, I rest my case.  This year, I will not be turning 30.  I have more than proven I am not qualified, nor do I have the life experiences necessary to carry out the act of turning 30.  Except for the kids part.  I guess theres’s that.  But still.  Not qualified.  

And you can’t make me.  

Update:  I’m Lazy

Seriously though.  I can’t seem to get my butt in gear this week.  I’ve had about 2039840293784 things on the agenda and maybe accomplished, oh, 3 of them.  Anyone else?

Anyway, I figured since I didn’t tackle any of the big things I’ve had planned from this blog so far this week, I’d at least stop by with a little update.  

As I mentioned before, we took Slugger off his meds a little over a month ago now.  There have been some changes, and I thought this was as good a place as any to think them out and put them on “paper”.  Plus, you know, I like you guys.  

So the pros:

I have heard more genuine laughter from Slugger the last couple of weeks than I’ve heard in a while.  Like goofy, belly laughs.  

We’ve been able to joke around a little, which is hard sometimes because he is SO literal.  Like, sarcasm.  I embrace it.  He doesn’t understand sarcasm and gets really upset with me some times.  Whoops.  

BIggest pro?  No more meds.  Duh.

The Cons:

There is really only one HUGE con.  Slugger seems to think that because he isn’t on his medication anymore he now has free reign to act like a fool.  And I don’t mean the goofy stated above.  I mean blatant disrespect and disregard for everyone around him.  More so than the usual.  Now, how do I know this isn’t a side effect?  Well, his meds were for his FOCUS.  Not BEHAVIOR.  

So I have a feeling, in his head, he thinks that he can blame any and all indiscretions on the fact that we are no longer medicating him, when in fact, the issues we are having are completely unrelated.  Ahhhh, kids.  They’re great.

But on another note, we finally got our new oil blend in and I’m hoping this at least assists in Slugger’s anger issues.  I will say, I made the mistake of diffusing it during homework time yesterday.  Never. Again.  Talk about letting the flood gates open.  We are going to have to use this one with caution.  So there’s that. 

I’m super excited because we are going to be trying a supplement for Slugger next month.  Even though his go to blend, Brain Power, seems to be working well for him (when he feels like actually doing work!) I figured the added boost of a supplement couldn’t hurt.  I’ll be trying it as well because, ummm, who couldn’t use some assistance with their continuities function, am I right?  More on that though when it comes in.  

Any way, I’m going to go try to be productive.  Then I can actually present something interesting to you folks.  So hang in there.  It’s coming.  I think. Maybe.