So. As the title implies, I’m writing this post because I have to. Why do I have to? Because I haven’t. Duh.
I haven’t written anything in some time, and not because my life is void of activity or events, but because I’m terrible at follow through. There. I said it.
Also, I have to say (since I like to be honest here) my confidence has been seriously lacking as of late. There is something to be said about putting yourself out there and hoping people like who you are.
“But you shouldn’t care if people like who you are! Just be you! You are special!” That’s what we’ve been told growing up, isn’t it?
But goodness, it’s so much harder than that.
I don’t know who I am most days, or how to be sure of myself. I (as I’ve mentioned before) struggle so much with the concept of making adult friends. And I know I’m not alone. There are many people who feel this way. And especially after having kids, all of a sudden you turn into this MOM-BOT that only says things like “Sit down!” or “Nice hands!” and you go by names like “Mrs. So-and-so” or “So-and-So’s Mom” and you’re all “Wait! I used to by my own person!”.
Add to that mix the fact that my humor is, um, a little off brand to the mom world, and things just get even MORE awkward. I can’t express to you the amount of times I’ve made a joke, just to have people’s eyes glaze over and their jaws slack a little.
I guess the point of this post (besides me once again complaining about how I don’t know how to life) is that I’m in the process of barreling through this weird, awkward second puberty I’ve found myself in. Thirty is the new twelve.
So if you find yourself feeling similarly, at least know you aren’t alone.