The Misadventures of the Oils Monster

If You Have Friends, Read This. Seriously, Read It.

Posted on September 8, 2015September 8, 2015 by Krystal

So, today was Slugger’s first day of fourth grade. And I found a baby snapping turtle in my yard that was just unbearably cute. In other words, it’s a good day.

On that note, I need to say this post is going to be a little bit of a downer. But it’s important. And if you hang in there, you’ll be rewarded by finding out who the giveaway winners were. Spoiler alert: I picked three people instead of two, because it’s a good day. BAM. Now don’t just scroll to the bottom! I’m trusting you!

So. Now that we are all gathered, I want to tell you a little about me. Growing up, I had friends. A lot of friends. And I don’t say that in a braggy way, just in a “I was friends with a little bit of everyone” kind of way. It’s important to the story. My “Best Friends” included a pretty wide circle in high school. And they were amazing friends, seriously. I was a bit of a basket case back then and they all loved and supported me regardless.

Fast forward to the dreaded “post high school” years. I knew going in that people branch out and drift apart, but I was hell bent on maintaining relationships. And mostly, that was ok. I was managing.

Now, I need to stop here and just say that I’m not finger pointing or accusing. Things happen. People change. Again, I get that. But let this post serve as a PSA for those in a similar situation. Begin taking notes now.

When I got pregnant with Slugger, I was a young(er) mom. I was the first of my friends to have a family. Which wasn’t planned, but I was happy and content none the less. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I was prepared to take on the responsibility of raising a child with someone I loved. What I wasn’t prepared for, was how lonely being a young mom really is.

There’s me and baby Slugger. All young and what not and it seems like a hundred years ago…

Any way, back to the story. I was nineteen when I found out I was expecting. Being the first to get pregnant made me sort of a hot commodity amongst my friends. There was so much buzz and excitement and it was great because I could still go out and do things and we would talk about how weird it was that I was growing a human and someone was going to call me “Mom”. Friends would binge eat weird things with me, because you know, when in Rome and all that. Life was good.

Fast forwarding again, by the time I had Slugger, I was twenty. Want to inspire awe and wonder in a group of early twenty-somethings? Show them a new baby. We had so many friends come to visit us in the hospital. We felt super loved. From there, there was a string of people to our apartment to see the baby, and people would invite us over to hang out with the baby. And we were all about the baby. Again, life was awesome. I made a person.

Then things started to shift, ever so slightly. Friends would invite me out to things that I just couldn’t navigate with a newborn. I was forced to turn them down, and that sucked, but it was nice to be invited. I would hear things like “Just get a baby sitter.” or “leave him with the hubs and come out with us tonight.” I would explain how these options just weren’t on the table at the moment and hoped my friends would understand. And I thought they did.

But then the invites became less and less. I would see friends hanging out, doing things that I could have made, but was never asked to join. I would ask and get replies like “Oh, it was no big deal. You didn’t miss anything.” But I was missing things. I was missing my friends.

As the years, went by, I have kept some of the same friends. Some have turned into people I follow on Facebook, but no longer really know. It’s been almost ten years since I had Slugger and people are now having families of their own and “catching” up to me on this crazy path in life. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to see them hanging out with the new friends they’ve made. I hope for them that their transition into parenthood is smoother. That they’re surrounded by people in similar situations, walking the same path with them, not away from them. I hope they don’t know the pain of being ostracized. For feeling like you had to make a choice between friendships and your family.

I guess what I’m saying is this: Be understanding when a new parent says they “Just can’t”. They aren’t ready to leave their baby with someone else. Or maybe they seriously just can’t. One day they will be able to go out again. When their kids have grown and developed into semi-functioning people, your friend can once again devote a little more time to your relationship. It’s fast and it’s fleeting, folks. Don’t make it lonely.

That’s not to say it’s all bad. Really. I love my family and have zero regrets. I have a tiny group of friends now, but we are incredible close knit. I have a bestie with kids similar in age to mine and nothing brings me more joy than knowing we can get together and watch the kids act like kids while commiserating and celebrating all that parenthood is and will be. Life’s still pretty great.

So, now that I’ve said my peace. Giveaway WINNERS! These will be posted to my Facebook page as well, and I will be reaching out to the winners over the next couple of days.

The winner of the Free Bottle off the $20 and under list is:

Monica Eulo!

And the (now) two winners for $10 off your order:

Donna Iansito

and

Nikki Calfee!

Congrats ladies! And thank you to all who entered. Keep a look out, you never know when I’ll give more stuff away…

First Come Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes…

Posted on September 5, 2015 by Krystal

Hooray, you’re here again. So, my baby sister got married a couple of weeks ago. It was beautiful and sweet, and all things you imagine marriage to be. But it got me thinking. Dating VS Marriage. Total. Game. Changer. Now, I’m no Dear Abby, but my husband and I have been together ten years now. Only three of which consist of “actual” marriage, but I feel like after living with someone for ten years, a piece of paper makes no difference. I’m not a relationship expert, but I am an experienced member of a relationship. So, whatever. Let’s do this.

Ah, I remember so well meeting the man I would eventually marry. I was young, and dare I say, much hotter than I am now. He was all quiet in a sexy, mysterious way and such a super duper gentleman. We would talk for hours about nothing and he would laugh his face off at all my stupid jokes. I was so, so funny back then, folks. Which brings me to my first point.

The way you feel about each other WILL change.

Now, I’m not saying that to be Debbie Downer, but listen. When you are with someone long enough, and you spend enough time with them, suddenly things you found so charming, well, aren’t.

For instance, my husband’s quiet demeanor was so alluring. Until we had our first argument and he sat there staring into nothing. Saying nothing. I’m a “need to talk it out kind of girl”. He’s a “maybe if I just don’t look at her, she’ll go away” kind of guy. Not. Cute.

And on the flip side, the sense of humor I thought I had honed over the years, quickly wore off with the hubs. What started as giggling like a school girl and covering his mouth to contain it, slowly turned into a half a smirk and an eye roll. Which left me shaken and questioning just how funny I really am. Because I’m funny. Dammit.

But of course it goes with out saying the feelings will change in good ways as well. My husband and I have almost morphed into the same person on a lot of issues. Things that we would have completely disagreed on in the beginning of our relationship have become things we snort at and pick apart together. Or I may have just brainwashed him to agree with me to avoid hours of long drawn out conversation. Either way. Harmonious.

On to the next point. Which some of you may completely disagree with. And if you do, just know, you haven’t gotten there yet.

When we were dating, I remember primping daily like I was going to prom. Hours of hair straightening, make up application, picking out the perfect outfit. Exhausting. As I became more comfortable (read: hugely pregnant with Slugger) I realized that my hubs loved me regardless of how presentable I was.

Be careful. This is a slippery slope and once you have kids, it becomes a down right avalanche. I’m only semi ashamed to admit that my daily regiment takes all of five minutes to throw on whatever clean clothes I find in order to get the little monsters looking presentable. Doing my hair? More like “Does the messy bun I slept in look ok, or should I redo it?” Make up? Chapstick counts, right? Shaving…happens like once a year. My yearly shave. I can barely take a pee with out someone asking me ten thousand questions, so showering long enough to rid my body of any “unwanted” hair is totally out. Deal with it. In my defense, there are like, a million memes on the internet talking about how sexy yoga pants are. Seriously, look it up. So, score one for me. I own A LOT of yoga pants.

The caveat to this ladies, is that men have some magical gift bestowed upon them. Spoiler alert, the gift is you. While you are catering to the tiny monsters you have created, he has time to groom and primp like the old days. Which let’s be honest, consists of maybe a shave and some tooth brushing. Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with a gift as well, a husband with enough manners not to burp and fart everywhere. Thank you, honey.

While dating, you put your best self out there. No one wants to see the worst of a person and then commit to be with that mess. Nope. Living together, married or not, definitely sheds light on all the, um, dirt. Somehow cleaning each other’s messes is not enjoyable. GO FIGURE, RIGHT? But it comes with the territory.

The beauty of dating is, at the end of the day, you both go back to your respective places and subsequently, respective messes. Your boyfriend doesn’t know how to use a hamper? Not your problem. Your craft project took over a whole room and has left no where for anyone to sit down? He doesn’t have to know about it.

But fast forward to living in the same dwelling, and things get real. You can hide NOTHING. You share a space and care for that space together and suddenly you have no idea to live. None. Like, for instance, what to you mean I can’t just have various pieces of paper covering an entire table surface? I was working on something! Who moved the underwear I left on the floor? That was clean! Why aren’t my dirty clothes getting washed? I left them over here, on the floor, on the side of the bed, which is clearly my dirty clothes pile! The outrage!

Things get hard, people. They get dirty.

Dating is fun. It’s great to look back on the times when everything was fresh and new. Every quirk was endearing and every conversation stimulating. But there’s something to be said about coming home everyday to the familiar, the comfortable. About knowing where you stand, and who you stand with. Marriage isn’t so bad. It’s actually pretty great.

Elementary, my dear Slugger…

Posted on September 1, 2015September 1, 2015 by Krystal

Hey there ladies and gents. So originally I was going to talk about mutant head lice and how we should all cower in fear. But then I realized, that’s what you have the news for. I am not the news. So instead we are going to talk about the most wonderful and simultaneously horrible time of year: BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!

Now before we get into the whys of how I feel about this time of year, (snort! Like you need a list for why it’s wonderful!) I’m going to warn you: Things are about to get oily.

If you aren’t familiar with essential oils (or even if you are), I’ve made this quick and easy little site that explains what they are, how they’re used, and all that good stuff.

You’re going to want to click on this fun little picture here, and go visit that site. Trust me, it’ll be important later.

So any who, I’m pretty confident in saying that anyone who has school aged kids can agree that sending them off to school is one of the most glorious feelings ever. Unless you’re sending your first born to kindergarten for the first time. Or your last born for that matter. You ladies are going to be an emotional mess. Sorry. It’s just how it has to be.

BUT for the rest of us, it is a time for celebration! There are mimosas at the bus stop! Confetti in the air! People are wearing stupid hats like it’s New Year’s Eve! Ok, maybe not. But there should be!

Now this euphoria lasts for at least the first couple of days. Kid’s aren’t bringing home anything crazy, just the same forms you’ve filled out since the beginning of time. No sweat. You’re scribbling emergency contacts down like it’s second nature. Nothing can break this zen. Life is awesome.

AND THEN…

Homework starts.

Now, when I was a kid, homework was a completely different monster than it is now. Kindergarten. Pffft. Homework wasn’t even a thing. We colored and played with blocks, and we were damn geniuses if we could write our own name. NOT. ANY. MORE. Slugger had homework every day in Kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN! As the years have gone by, things have only gotten worse. There are reading logs and family projects. Family projects. Let that sink in. If you’re like me, you already have a family project. Project “Keep the kids alive”. Come on now.

Now the other new fangled craziness is that kids are not held responsible for the homework. Oh no. The parents are. THE PARENTS. I have gone to more than one parent/teacher conference where I have been asked about the status of Slugger’s assignments. Listen, he has homework. He knows he has homework. I cannot sit down and forcibly make him do said homework. That is part of learning responsibility. You don’t do homework, you get in trouble. At home, at school, everywhere. Don’t ask me why homework isn’t getting done. Ask him. I did my homework. Goodness.

And then, the illnesses start. Slugger was fairly healthy until starting school. I kid you not, I think he brought home everything short of Ebola once he started school. Ok, slight exaggeration. Only slight. Now, when he had started Kindergarten, I had Pixie only a couple of weeks later. So this complicated things immensely. Not only did I have a sick five year old, but I had to keep the sickness at bay because infants. And I was breastfeeding. Which meant there was very little I could take to fight off any sickness. At that time I wasn’t an oils monster just yet, and things were much harder than they needed to be. I’m sure my immune system has muscles like Arnold though. So there is that.

Sickness. Be prepared. It’s coming.

Ahhhhh, sleep. At the end of the school day, even your kids should be ready for bed. You settle them in and prepare to relax for the remainder of the evening. Until you notice that note sticking out of their backpack. You know, that obscure note that is asking you to bring in 25 pre-sliced apples for tomorrow because they’re going to be making applesauce. Did you know about this? Is this a thing? Do you even have apples?

If you’re like me, the answer to all of this is a resounding “NO”. So now you have to either run out to the store, or hope your significant other is a saint and willing to do it for you. Either way, you know you’re going to be up until all hours of the night cutting up apples. And trying to find a container big enough to put them in.

School. So awesome.

Now, I’m sure you know this already, but after finally drifting off at 3 am, smelling of apples, you now have to be up bright and early to ~~yell~~ calming repeat the same three sentence over and over and over until you leave the house. Our morning mantra usually sounds like: “Where are your shoes? That shirt is too small. It’s too late, we’re leaving! No, we don’t have time for a snack!”

But again. Repeat each of those about forty five times.

Totally awesome.

The kids are on the bus. Next step? Sit at home and pray you don’t get any phone calls from the school. Or emails. Or text messages. Because thanks to modern technology, that school WILL find you. If all goes well, you have almost the entire day to do all the really fun things moms like to do. Like laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping. Of course, I still have Pixie home with me, so we do these things together, while singing. Like the productive princesses we are.

We then waltz to the bus stop in our gowns and heels to pick up Slugger. And then I take a deep breath and laugh like a lunatic. Because I know we are going to repeat everything I’ve mentioned, five days a week, until June.

School. The most wonderful time of the year.

Now. You sat through that. I appreciate it. To show how much I appreciate it and you, I am hosting a giveaway to launch this blog and earn some friends. Because friends like free stuff. Duh. So, it’s easy. Fill out the rafflecopter below and follow the instructions. Make sure you visit the link to the Essential Oils 101 page, so you can tell me what, if anything, you’ve learned. Two winners will be chosen.

First prize is a free bottle of oil from the list below. Your choice. As long as it’s in stock of course.

Second prize is $10.00 off any Young Living order placed through me. Seriously, any order, no mater how large or how small.

The contest runs now through September 8th. I will announce the winners on my Facebook page. GOOD LUCK!

ADHD, ODD, COPD, OCD, EIEIOOOO! Wait, what?

Posted on August 28, 2015 by Krystal

Ok, I’m not a medically licensed professional. Everything I’m about to say is based purely on our personal experiences and should not me taken as medical advice, or used to diagnose or treat anyone, like, seriously.

Now that we got that out of the way, I want you to do something for me. Close your eyes. (Well, don’t because then you can’t read what I’m about to say. I guess figure this out on your own.) Imagine you’re a nine year old boy. You are full of an unfair amount of energy that is totally and completely wasted on the youth, but I digress.

As I was saying, you’re full of energy, but more energy than you know how to deal with. You have no idea how to harness and focus this energy. You’re asked to do all kinds of boring things all day long while trying to deal with the building energy inside.

On top of this, you are ANGRY. You are so angry and full of energy, and people keep asking you to do things, and it’s just making you more ANGRY, and you are not going to give a poop about what they say or do, and this is not your fault. They need to just leave you ALONE.

This is what Slugger’s day consists of. To the best of my knowledge, that is. I honestly don’t know what he must feel like. I wish that I did. I wish I could understand and he could explain it and tell me how to make things easier for him. But that’s not how mental illness works.

Slugger has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) with ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). I didn’t plan on discussing this in a blog one day. I didn’t plan on discussing this past the people who are in contact with us on a regular basis. But I realized that in order to have a blog and to be sincere, Slugger’s issue should be addressed and explained.

Most people are familiar to an extent with ADHD. But contrary to what most think, ADHD does not always mean that you are HYPER. At least not hyper in the sense that you are bouncing off the walls. There is a whole spectrum of ADHD and some kids don’t present the same way as others.

I’m not going to break down all the forms of ADHD and what they are; you have google for that. But I say this because we had no idea that Slugger had any issues until he started school.

I had him very young, so there weren’t a lot of other kids for me to compare him to. I just thought he was willful in the way all toddlers are willful. He was smart, funny, and could work a computer by the time he was three. I was so excited for him to start school because I just KNEW he would shine.

Sadly, that wasn’t what happened.

He did well academically. At first. But he didn’t act like the other kids. Things bothered him that someone else wouldn’t have noticed. He couldn’t walk and sit in circle time calmly like the other kids. His teacher blew our mind at the first (of many) parent teacher conference. We had no idea he was different. We had no idea all kids didn’t act and react like Slugger.

Every year has gotten a little harder. Grades have been progressively going down. We have bounced between different doctors. We’ve seen three therapists, three psychiatrists, and a neurologist. It took a lot of trial and error. But finally we have a diagnosis. ADHD with ODD.

Some of you are probably yelling at your screen right now. You’re screaming “WHAT THE **** IS ODD!”

Allow me to enlighten you.

The Mayo Clinic describes ODD as the following:

“DSM-5 criteria for diagnosis of ODD include both emotional and behavioral symptoms.

Angry and irritable mood:

Often loses temper
Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
Is often angry and resentful
Argumentative and defiant behavior:

Often argues with adults or people in authority
Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules
Often deliberately annoys people
Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
Vindictiveness:

Is often spiteful or vindictive
Has shown spiteful or vindictive behavior at least twice in the past six months”

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20024559

So, in super laymen’s terms, what we see here is a lot of rule breaking and arguing. Slugger doesn’t care about consequences, because he just doesn’t understand how they pertain to his actions. Anything he does that is wrong is not his fault. It’s someone else’s.

I know some people are rolling their eyes and thinking “This sounds like EVERY kid!” And you aren’t wrong. Slugger is just like every kid, except magnified. The anger is bigger, the disrespect is more biting, the arguments don’t end. It’s exhausting for him and us.

We are still trying to find a regiment that works for us. It’s a lot of trial an error. I can’t say we’ve found a medication yet that produces the results we are looking for, but in the grand scheme of things, we only started medicating a year ago, so that’s all very new still. I have a roller bottle of Essential Oils that I give to Slugger when he feels like the “cogs just won’t turn”. It helps. But we still have a lot of work to do.

For more info on ODD, click the link above to visit the Mayo Center.

The awesome graphics I had above were nabbed from the CDC and their site on ADHD. You can find that site here:

http://www.cdc.gov/media/dpk/2013/dpk-ADHD-estimates-rise.html

Welcome to my crazy life, friends.

Posted on August 28, 2015 by Krystal

So. Nice to meet you. I’m Krystal, and this is my blog. I mean, obviously. At this stage in the game, if you’re here, I probably invited you here, and if that’s the case, you probably already know me. Which makes introducing myself pretty pointless and silly.
But if by some crazy chance you’re here and don’t know me, that’s my mug up there. No make up and all, wearing a small child on my back. Because that’s how I roll. I’m a stay at home mom of two crazy monsters. For crazy anonymity, we are going to call them Slugger and Pixie.

Slugger is nine. He’s into baseball (wow, you don’t say!), video games, and junk food. He bounces between painfully shy and leader of the pack. Depends on the day and his ever changing mood. He also has ADHD with ODD. We will touch on that another time.

Pixie is three, turning four in September. She’s complex. One moment, she’s in a tutu pouring tea and the next, she has her brother in a headlock. Girl has grit. She’s witty, funny, and sometimes deep. Never a dull moment with that one.

Then there’s the hubs. I’d give him a nickname, but I really feel like the hubs (or hubster, hubby, husband, spouse, that guy I married) pretty much covers it. He’s hardworking, loyal to a fault at times, and quiet, but in that mysterious “I wonder what he’s thinking” kind of way. And he’s darn good looking.

We also have two cats, two dogs, and two fish. It’s like a mini Ark up in here. They’re all adorable in their own goofy ways and I will post pictures of them randomly, because: animals.

I guess that leaves me. I’m an outgoing introvert (no, really. I swear.) who loves to read, sing, craft, put way more things in my various planners than most normal people, and covering my family in essential oils. Which would make me The Oils Monster.

I promise to try and be entertaining and maybe a little insightful. Maybe I’ll share something you didn’t already know. Maybe I’ll bore you to tears. Who knows. I’m new at this blog thing, but any one who knows me is more than aware that I can talk about nothing for hours. I’ll try to talk about something though. No one wants to read about nothing. That’s just stupid.

So, join me. Leave comments. Let me know if you want to rip your eyes out from the boredom or whatever. It’s cool. We’re friends now.

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