If You Have Friends, Read This. Seriously, Read It.

young mom

So, today was Slugger’s first day of fourth grade.  And I found a baby snapping turtle in my yard that was just unbearably cute.  In other words, it’s a good day.

On that note, I need to say this post is going to be a little bit of a downer.  But it’s important.  And if you hang in there, you’ll be rewarded by finding out who the giveaway winners were.  Spoiler alert: I picked three people instead of two, because it’s a good day.  BAM.  Now don’t just scroll to the bottom!  I’m trusting you!

So.  Now that we are all gathered, I want to tell you a little about me.  Growing up, I had friends.  A lot of friends.  And I don’t say that in a braggy way, just in a “I was friends with a little bit of everyone” kind of way.  It’s important to the story.  My “Best Friends” included a pretty wide circle in high school.  And they were amazing friends, seriously.  I was a bit of a basket case back then and they all loved and supported me regardless.

Fast forward to the dreaded “post high school” years.  I knew going in that people branch out and drift apart, but I was hell bent on maintaining relationships.  And mostly, that was ok.  I was managing.

Now, I need to stop here and just say that I’m not finger pointing or accusing.  Things happen.  People change.  Again, I get that.  But let this post serve as a PSA for those in a similar situation.  Begin taking notes now.

When I got pregnant with Slugger, I was a young(er) mom.  I was the first of my friends to have a family.  Which wasn’t planned, but I was happy and content none the less.  I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I was prepared to take on the responsibility of raising a child with someone I loved.  What I wasn’t prepared for, was how lonely being a young mom really is.

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There’s me and baby Slugger.  All young and what not and it seems like a hundred years ago…

Any way, back to the story.  I was nineteen when I found out I was expecting.  Being the first to get pregnant made me sort of a hot commodity amongst my friends.  There was so much buzz and excitement and it was great because I could still go out and do things and we would talk about how weird it was that I was growing a human and someone was going to call me “Mom”.  Friends would binge eat weird things with me, because you know, when in Rome and all that.  Life was good.

Fast forwarding again, by the time I had Slugger, I was twenty.  Want to inspire awe and wonder in a group of early twenty-somethings?  Show them a new baby.  We had so many friends come to visit us in the hospital.  We felt super loved.  From there, there was a string of people to our apartment to see the baby, and people would invite us over to hang out with the baby.  And we were all about the baby.  Again, life was awesome.  I made a person.

Then things started to shift, ever so slightly.  Friends would invite me out to things that I just couldn’t navigate with a newborn.  I was forced to turn them down, and that sucked, but it was nice to be invited.  I would hear things like “Just get a baby sitter.” or “leave him with the hubs and come out with us tonight.”  I would explain how these options just weren’t on the table at the moment and hoped my friends would understand.  And I thought they did.

But then the invites became less and less.  I would see friends hanging out, doing things that I could have made, but was never asked to join.  I would ask and get replies like “Oh, it was no big deal.  You didn’t miss anything.”  But I was missing things.  I was missing my friends.

As the years, went by, I have kept some of the same friends.  Some have turned into people I follow on Facebook, but no longer really know.  It’s been almost ten years since I had Slugger and people are now having families of their own and “catching” up to me on this crazy path in life.  I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to see them hanging out with the new friends they’ve made.  I hope for them that their transition into parenthood is smoother.  That they’re surrounded by people in similar situations, walking the same path with them, not away from them.  I hope they don’t know the pain of being ostracized.  For feeling like you had to make a choice between friendships and your family.

I guess what I’m saying is this:  Be understanding when a new parent says they “Just can’t”.  They aren’t ready to leave their baby with someone else.  Or maybe they seriously just can’t.  One day they will be able to go out again.  When their kids have grown and developed into semi-functioning people, your friend can once again devote a little more time to your relationship.  It’s fast and it’s fleeting, folks.  Don’t make it lonely.

That’s not to say it’s all bad.  Really.  I love my family and have zero regrets.  I have a tiny group of friends now, but we are incredible close knit.  I have a bestie with kids similar in age to mine and nothing brings me more joy than knowing we can get together and watch the kids act like kids while commiserating and celebrating all that parenthood is and will be.  Life’s still pretty great.

So, now that I’ve said my peace.  Giveaway WINNERS!  These will be posted to my Facebook page as well, and I will be reaching out to the winners over the next couple of days.

The winner of the Free Bottle off the $20 and under list is:

Monica Eulo!

And the (now) two winners for $10 off your order:

Donna Iansito

and

Nikki Calfee!

Congrats ladies!  And thank you to all who entered.  Keep a look out, you never know when I’ll give more stuff away…

Elementary, my dear Slugger…

back to school

Tea tree

Hey there ladies and gents.  So originally I was going to talk about mutant head lice and how we should all cower in fear.  But then I realized, that’s what you have the news for.  I am not the news.  So instead we are going to talk about the most wonderful and simultaneously horrible time of year: BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!

Now before we get into the whys of how I feel about this time of year, (snort!  Like you need a list for why it’s wonderful!) I’m going to warn you:  Things are about to get oily.

If you aren’t familiar with essential oils (or even if you are), I’ve made this quick and easy little site that explains what they are, how they’re used, and all that good stuff.

essential oils 101

You’re going to want to click on this fun little picture here, and go visit that site.  Trust me, it’ll be important later.

So any who, I’m pretty confident in saying that anyone who has school aged kids can agree that sending them off to school is one of the most glorious feelings ever.  Unless you’re sending your first born to kindergarten for the first time.  Or your last born for that matter.  You ladies are going to be an emotional mess.  Sorry.  It’s just how it has to be.

BUT for the rest of us, it is a time for celebration!  There are mimosas at the bus stop!  Confetti in the air!  People are wearing stupid hats like it’s New Year’s Eve!  Ok, maybe not.  But there should be!

Now this euphoria lasts for at least the first couple of days.  Kid’s aren’t bringing home anything crazy, just the same forms you’ve filled out since the beginning of time.  No sweat.  You’re scribbling emergency contacts down like it’s second nature.  Nothing can break this zen.  Life is awesome.

AND THEN…

Homework starts.

homework helper

Now, when I was a kid, homework was a completely different monster than it is now.  Kindergarten.  Pffft.  Homework wasn’t even a thing.  We colored and played with blocks, and we were damn geniuses if we could write our own name.  NOT.  ANY.  MORE.  Slugger had homework every day in Kindergarten.  KINDERGARTEN!  As the years have gone by, things have only gotten worse.  There are reading logs and family projects.  Family projects.  Let that sink in.  If you’re like me, you already have a family project.  Project “Keep the kids alive”.  Come on now.

Now the other new fangled craziness is that kids are not held responsible for the homework.  Oh no.  The parents are.  THE PARENTS.  I have gone to more than one parent/teacher conference where I have been asked about the status of Slugger’s assignments.  Listen, he has homework.  He knows he has homework.  I cannot sit down and forcibly make him do said homework.  That is part of learning responsibility.  You don’t do homework, you get in trouble.  At home, at school, everywhere.  Don’t ask me why homework isn’t getting done.  Ask him.  I did my homework.  Goodness.

colds IMG_1278

And then, the illnesses start.  Slugger was fairly healthy until starting school.  I kid you not, I think he brought home everything short of Ebola once he started school.  Ok, slight exaggeration.  Only slight.  Now, when he had started Kindergarten, I had Pixie only a couple of weeks later.  So this complicated things immensely.  Not only did I have a sick five year old, but I had to keep the sickness at bay because infants.  And I was breastfeeding.  Which meant there was very little I could take to fight off any sickness.  At that time I wasn’t an oils monster just yet, and things were much harder than they needed to be.  I’m sure my immune system has muscles like Arnold though.  So there is that.

Sickness.  Be prepared.  It’s coming.

rest for success

Ahhhhh, sleep.  At the end of the school day, even your kids should be ready for bed.  You settle them in and prepare to relax for the remainder of the evening.  Until you notice that note sticking out of their backpack.  You know, that obscure note that is asking you to bring in 25 pre-sliced apples for tomorrow because they’re going to be making applesauce.  Did you know about this?  Is this a thing?  Do you even have apples?

If you’re like me, the answer to all of this is a resounding “NO”.  So now you have to either run out to the store, or hope your significant other is a saint and willing to do it for you.  Either way, you know you’re going to be up until all hours of the night cutting up apples. And trying to find a container big enough to put them in.

School.  So awesome.

morning jump start

Now, I’m sure you know this already, but after finally drifting off at 3 am, smelling of apples, you now have to be up bright and early to yell calming repeat the same three sentence over and over and over until you leave the house.  Our morning mantra usually sounds like: “Where are your shoes?  That shirt is too small.  It’s too late, we’re leaving!  No, we don’t have time for a snack!”

But again.  Repeat each of those about forty five times.

Totally awesome.

test tamer

The kids are on the bus.  Next step?  Sit at home and pray you don’t get any phone calls from the school.  Or emails.  Or text messages.  Because thanks to modern technology, that school WILL find you.  If all goes well, you have almost the entire day to do all the really fun things moms like to do.  Like laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping.  Of course, I still have Pixie home with me, so we do these things together, while singing.  Like the productive princesses we are.

We then waltz to the bus stop in our gowns and heels to pick up Slugger.  And then I take a deep breath and laugh like a lunatic.  Because I know we are going to repeat everything I’ve mentioned, five days a week, until June.

School.  The most wonderful time of the year.

Now.  You sat through that.  I appreciate it.  To show how much I appreciate it and you, I am hosting a giveaway to launch this blog and earn some friends.  Because friends like free stuff.  Duh.  So, it’s easy.  Fill out the rafflecopter below and follow the instructions.  Make sure you visit the link to the Essential Oils 101 page, so you can tell me what, if anything, you’ve learned.  Two winners will be chosen.

First prize is a free bottle of oil from the list below.  Your choice.  As long as it’s in stock of course.oils

Second prize is $10.00 off any Young Living order placed through me.  Seriously, any order, no mater how large or how small.

The contest runs now through September 8th.  I will announce the winners on my Facebook page.  GOOD LUCK!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
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