Elementary, my dear Slugger…

back to school

Tea tree

Hey there ladies and gents.  So originally I was going to talk about mutant head lice and how we should all cower in fear.  But then I realized, that’s what you have the news for.  I am not the news.  So instead we are going to talk about the most wonderful and simultaneously horrible time of year: BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!

Now before we get into the whys of how I feel about this time of year, (snort!  Like you need a list for why it’s wonderful!) I’m going to warn you:  Things are about to get oily.

If you aren’t familiar with essential oils (or even if you are), I’ve made this quick and easy little site that explains what they are, how they’re used, and all that good stuff.

essential oils 101

You’re going to want to click on this fun little picture here, and go visit that site.  Trust me, it’ll be important later.

So any who, I’m pretty confident in saying that anyone who has school aged kids can agree that sending them off to school is one of the most glorious feelings ever.  Unless you’re sending your first born to kindergarten for the first time.  Or your last born for that matter.  You ladies are going to be an emotional mess.  Sorry.  It’s just how it has to be.

BUT for the rest of us, it is a time for celebration!  There are mimosas at the bus stop!  Confetti in the air!  People are wearing stupid hats like it’s New Year’s Eve!  Ok, maybe not.  But there should be!

Now this euphoria lasts for at least the first couple of days.  Kid’s aren’t bringing home anything crazy, just the same forms you’ve filled out since the beginning of time.  No sweat.  You’re scribbling emergency contacts down like it’s second nature.  Nothing can break this zen.  Life is awesome.

AND THEN…

Homework starts.

homework helper

Now, when I was a kid, homework was a completely different monster than it is now.  Kindergarten.  Pffft.  Homework wasn’t even a thing.  We colored and played with blocks, and we were damn geniuses if we could write our own name.  NOT.  ANY.  MORE.  Slugger had homework every day in Kindergarten.  KINDERGARTEN!  As the years have gone by, things have only gotten worse.  There are reading logs and family projects.  Family projects.  Let that sink in.  If you’re like me, you already have a family project.  Project “Keep the kids alive”.  Come on now.

Now the other new fangled craziness is that kids are not held responsible for the homework.  Oh no.  The parents are.  THE PARENTS.  I have gone to more than one parent/teacher conference where I have been asked about the status of Slugger’s assignments.  Listen, he has homework.  He knows he has homework.  I cannot sit down and forcibly make him do said homework.  That is part of learning responsibility.  You don’t do homework, you get in trouble.  At home, at school, everywhere.  Don’t ask me why homework isn’t getting done.  Ask him.  I did my homework.  Goodness.

colds IMG_1278

And then, the illnesses start.  Slugger was fairly healthy until starting school.  I kid you not, I think he brought home everything short of Ebola once he started school.  Ok, slight exaggeration.  Only slight.  Now, when he had started Kindergarten, I had Pixie only a couple of weeks later.  So this complicated things immensely.  Not only did I have a sick five year old, but I had to keep the sickness at bay because infants.  And I was breastfeeding.  Which meant there was very little I could take to fight off any sickness.  At that time I wasn’t an oils monster just yet, and things were much harder than they needed to be.  I’m sure my immune system has muscles like Arnold though.  So there is that.

Sickness.  Be prepared.  It’s coming.

rest for success

Ahhhhh, sleep.  At the end of the school day, even your kids should be ready for bed.  You settle them in and prepare to relax for the remainder of the evening.  Until you notice that note sticking out of their backpack.  You know, that obscure note that is asking you to bring in 25 pre-sliced apples for tomorrow because they’re going to be making applesauce.  Did you know about this?  Is this a thing?  Do you even have apples?

If you’re like me, the answer to all of this is a resounding “NO”.  So now you have to either run out to the store, or hope your significant other is a saint and willing to do it for you.  Either way, you know you’re going to be up until all hours of the night cutting up apples. And trying to find a container big enough to put them in.

School.  So awesome.

morning jump start

Now, I’m sure you know this already, but after finally drifting off at 3 am, smelling of apples, you now have to be up bright and early to yell calming repeat the same three sentence over and over and over until you leave the house.  Our morning mantra usually sounds like: “Where are your shoes?  That shirt is too small.  It’s too late, we’re leaving!  No, we don’t have time for a snack!”

But again.  Repeat each of those about forty five times.

Totally awesome.

test tamer

The kids are on the bus.  Next step?  Sit at home and pray you don’t get any phone calls from the school.  Or emails.  Or text messages.  Because thanks to modern technology, that school WILL find you.  If all goes well, you have almost the entire day to do all the really fun things moms like to do.  Like laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping.  Of course, I still have Pixie home with me, so we do these things together, while singing.  Like the productive princesses we are.

We then waltz to the bus stop in our gowns and heels to pick up Slugger.  And then I take a deep breath and laugh like a lunatic.  Because I know we are going to repeat everything I’ve mentioned, five days a week, until June.

School.  The most wonderful time of the year.

Now.  You sat through that.  I appreciate it.  To show how much I appreciate it and you, I am hosting a giveaway to launch this blog and earn some friends.  Because friends like free stuff.  Duh.  So, it’s easy.  Fill out the rafflecopter below and follow the instructions.  Make sure you visit the link to the Essential Oils 101 page, so you can tell me what, if anything, you’ve learned.  Two winners will be chosen.

First prize is a free bottle of oil from the list below.  Your choice.  As long as it’s in stock of course.oils

Second prize is $10.00 off any Young Living order placed through me.  Seriously, any order, no mater how large or how small.

The contest runs now through September 8th.  I will announce the winners on my Facebook page.  GOOD LUCK!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
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